Staying Clean and Sober in The Everyday World

Today we continue to look at our fears realistically.  this is a much needed step toward maintaining sobriety and recovery.  This is  just another part to our relapse prevention.

Yesterday we developed a list of fears that are present in our lives.  Your list should be specific to you.  Today you will need to place them on paper to take a closer look at them.  divide your paper into 2 columns.. In the first column list the fear that you experience.  In the second column you will need to list exactly why you have that fear.

Here is an example:

I’m fearful of             Why do I have this fear?

flying                               the only time I flew I ened up with a severe earache and infection that lasted 2 weeks

heights                            I do not have good balance and I do not want to hurt myself by falling.

Now you know 2 of my deepest fears.  It is time to do your own list.  Tomaorrow we will get into everyones favorite subject.  You guessed it.   SEX   I’m sure we will have alot of new visitors with that one.   LOL

I hope you are keeping up with these.  This is our road to recovery and the more detailed we can be on this 4th Step the better we will do at relapse prevention.  In order to stay clean and sober we must know how we got into this mess.  that requires a detailed look at our selves.  While this is not a comfortable step it is a necessary one.

Today we will begin to check into our fears.  Start by printing the list below.  after you have printed it you will need to mark each one that applies to you in any way.  You may add any that I have accidentally left out.  Remember to be thorough.

FEAR

• Abandonment     
• Aging
• Anger                 
• Authority figures
• Being alone
• Being deceived  
• Being found out being myself                      
• Change
• Compliments      
• Confrontation     
• Creditors
• Death                  
• Denial, my          
• Disapproval
• Disease              
• Divorce              
• Embarrassment
• Employment       
• Facing myself     
• Failure
• Fear                    
• Feelings              
• Financial insecurity
• Flying                 
• Fourth and fifth steps                                  
• Future, the
• Getting fat of thin
• God                    
• Going home
• Going out on a “whim”                               
• Having children  
• Homelessness
• Homosexuality   
• Honesty              
• Humiliation
• Hurting others     
• I’m a fraud and others will find out            
• Incarceration
• Intimacy              
• IRS, the              
• Letting go
• Living                 
• Loneliness          
• Losing hope
• Love                   
• Mediocrity         
• Money
• Needing anyone  
• Not being good enough                               
• Not being happy
• Not being liked   
• Not being perfect
• People (specify who)
• Police, the          
• Poverty               
• Procrastination
• Rape                   
• Rejection            
• Relationships
• Resentments, my 
• Responsibility    
• Risks
• Saying that I can’t do something                  
• Sex                     
• Sponsor, my
• Success              
• Unemployment    
• Unknown, the
• Violence             
• Work                  

Complaining Is Not Always a Character Flaw

 Waiter, there’s a hair in my salad!

We have been working so hard that I just had to throw in some humor.  I know you will forgive me.

OK So back to work now.

Today we will begin to list our resentments.

You will need paper and pen.

Divide your paper into 4 columns.

Title the columns as listed below.

1. I’m Resentful at:     John Doe
2. The Cause:    He stole my money
3. This Affects My:    self esteem, serenity
4. My Mistakes in this:    I was dishonest with him

Continue in this manner until you have listed every person you can think of that you are resentful at.  This list would include family, friends, co-workers, bosses, doctors, lawyers, counselors, etc.  If you have any resentment toward anyone it needs to be listed here and detailed out so you have something to refer back to.

Really get serious and be honest with yourself in this matter as in all the ones we have done up to today.   You will not be sharing this list with anyone on it so do not be afraid to be honest.  If you can not be honest with yourself you will not succeed in your recovery.

I will be back tomorrow with the next part of our detailed 4th Step.

Because of the intense nature of what we are doing here I wanted to give you a few days to complete the assignment.  Now we will move on to some more things that must be done.

We need to get into our resentments.  Today I will list some of the areas that we tend to hold resentments and then tomorrow we will do some work with these areas. Continue Reading »

Yesterday I had you go over that really long list of words concerning flaws and assets and pick out the ones that applied to you.  Then you were to mark whether they were flaws or assets.  Today as promised we will do something with that list. Continue Reading »