Dec 14 2008
DETAILED 4th STEP (pt7)(Sex Conduct)
We are going to look deeply into our sexual history and how we conducted ourselves. In a detailed 4th step we must take a look at every aspect of our life and how it affected our addiction or other areas of our life to keep us trapped in our addiction. This will require us to be honest and fearless in our look into our past sexual forays.
Start with pen and paper again. Divide it into 5 columns.
Column 1 (This column lists all of those we have hurt)
- Her, him, family, friends, co-workers, etc.
- Me with guilt or shame
- Infecting him/her with a sexually transmitted disease
- Involving him/her in legal proceedings
- embarrassing him/her
- How did I cause the hurt
Column 2 (where were we selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate?)
- Selfish
- Using him/her to meet my needs for sex, attention, approval, mothering, or fathering
- Not seeing his/her needs or problems
- Wanting to look good or be liked
- Taking out my emotions on him/her (anger, sadness, etc.)
- Wanting to control him/her
- wanting special treatment
- wanting him/her to take care of me
- wanting more than my share
- not trying to be a friend
2. Dishonest (to myself or others)
- Leading someone on-sayingI care for him/her more than I do because I want sex
- Not admitting my sexual orientation
- Thinking I’m better (grandiosity)
- Being a perfectionist
- Not being clear about my motive (wanting fathering, mothering, approval, or sex)
- Wanting to vent my emotions on or control him/her
- Cheating on him/her
3. Inconsiderate
- To her, him, family, friends, co-workers, etc.
- Putting others or myself at risk of disease, legal involvement, and embarrassments
- How I was inconsiderate?
I believe that we should complete the other 3 columns tomorrow.
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