Staying Clean and Sober in The Everyday World

As addicts we want to blame others for our addiction.  This is another in the list of defense mechanisms.  It is much easier if we can blame someone else for the mess we are in than to blame our self.  If we have to look at our own faults then we must admit that it is our problem and that we alone created this mess.  No one wants to take responsibility for their own actions.  By blaming some one else we can take the focus off of us.  We can gain sympathy to our plight.  We can focus our hatred of the mess we are in somewhere besides where it belongs.

By blaming others we do not have to take the first step to recovery.  We can wallow in our suffering a bit longer.  Well meaning family and friends will often accept the blame for our condition.  This further eases our conscience and we are now free to use without guilt.  By accepting the blame the other person does not hold the addict acountable for their own actions.

Until we are held accountable we will not begin the road to recovery.  One thing I noticed in my own addiction is that otheres often give you the opportunity to blame someone or something else.  Many of my friends tried to blame my boyfriend for my addiction.  They told me many times that it was his fault.  I knew better.  It was no ones fault but my own and I did tell them that.  I made the choice to use “crack”.  He never asked me to or even wanted me to.  “Crack cocaine is a very selfish drug and therefore no one truly wants to share.  Users want you to buy it for them but they do not really want to share it with you.  Many other drugs are much more “social” if you will.

The point is that we must accept the blame for ourself.  As long as we use blame as a defense mechnism we can not recover from our addiction.  If you have been accepting the blame for someone then you need to STOP.  It is not your fault that they use.  You do not have that much power over someone elses life.

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