Staying Clean and Sober in The Everyday World

     Why don’t addicts grieve like everyone else? Addicts have suppressed their ability to grieve. We have spent years perfecting the art of suppressing our emotions. We have learned how to “drown our sorrows” in our addiction. When we start down the road to recovery we too wonder why we can’t grieve like “normal” people.

         From a personal perspective: When my mom died right after Katrina it was just too much for me. I was suffering through a relapse in my recovery and this news was overwhelming. I shut down emotionally. Here I am 1000 miles from anyone I knew already feeling guilt over my relapse and now you tell me my mother is dead. No way. I went and got high as quick as I could. That was all I knew to do. I did regain control about a month later feeling even more guilt. I went into depression as I boarded the bus for my hometown. Whenever I did show any kind of emotion, it was either the wrong kind or too much. I had no control. Those who have gone through the emotions of menopause can relate. I had to learn emotions all over again. I was fortunate enough to have help through a mentor who was quick to tell me what was right. I was a willing student so today I can say that I am pretty much back to “normal” whatever that is.         You can not expect someone to show emotions when they just don’t know how. Please do not hold it against your loved one when they do not respond in a way you expect. Inside they are feeling pain and do not know how to express it. That is why they so often return to their addiction in a time of crisis. That is familiar to them and they feel comfortable. Much like you do when you sit to watch TV and tune out what is going on around you.

    All I can say to you is try to remember that addiction is a disease.  You can never control other people, places, or things.  The only thing you can ever have control over is your own reactions to a situation.  The addict can not even do that while they are still in their addiction.  The addiction itself is in control most of the time.  We do have moments of sane thinking and then comes the call of our addiction and we are off again.  Once we begin our recovery we look at these times and can see the insanity of them and learn to laugh at it.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Are you insane today?  Try doing it differently.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS