Oct 29 2008
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH (Hitting Rock Bottom)
I received a question yesterday from one of our readers. She wants to know where is “rock bottom”? She tells of a family member that keeps going further down and wants to know where the bottom is. Each time the family thinks this person has hits the bottom they begin again and go further down. Addiction is a cunning and baffling disease that affects each person differently just as any other disease does. As with other diseases, each person has to determine for them self when they have suffered enough and are ready to seek a cure. What would appear to be the worst does not seem that bad when lost in addiction. One thing that addicts have is the ability to see others who are worse off than they are. This helps them to justify to themselves continuing in their own addiction. Because their loved ones can not see things in the same way they are not able to comprehend why the addict continues to use. Only another addict can possibly relate to this strange concept. The best answer I can give you is this. Rock bottom occurs when you can no longer stand the pain in your life. I did not say the pain you are causing others. It is when you can no longer stand the pain you are causing yourself. At this point you are ready to find a way out. There are several ways it can end at this point. Jail, hospital, suicide, or recovery is a few paths that have been taken.
Recovery in the loved one is what is desired by the family of course. Recovery can be found in a variety of forms which we have previously discussed and links to some of these can be found at the top of the page under HELP. I do have to go over some of the other things in order to maintain honesty here. As I stated yesterday and can not emphasize enough honesty is essential to recovery. So that said I continue.
Jail is good. “Are you crazy?” you ask. “I do not want my loved one in jail, there must be something else.” Now before you get schizoid on me allow me to explain the benefits of jail. The addict is in a relatively safe environment. I have lived on the streets and believe me it is safer in jail any day. They do not have ready access to their addiction unless they have plenty of money. In jail they can detox and hopefully see their predicament. This is what is called “tough love”, allowing the addict to suffer the consequences of their actions. It is not easy for either of you and I will not insult you by saying it is. We addicts call it a “wake up call”. I will discuss more on jail at a later date. For now let’s stick to the bottom.
Hospital is not desired but does sometimes provide the needed “wake up call”. When an addict wakes up in the hospital they must face the reason they are there. Do not be surprised if they check out against clinical advice (ACA). This is common. They are not to the bottom yet at least not their bottom, maybe yours, but remember they see things in a different light.
Now for the big one, I saw you cringe when I mentioned suicide. This is a way that far too many addicts take. If this has happened in your family I send my deepest condolences to you. I will say that I have heard many stories over the years of how an addict friends suicide turned someone else’s’ life around. Please try to take some comfort in that if you can. What I really want to discuss briefly is what to watch for and what to do if there are signs of suicide.
If your loved one tells you they are going to commit suicide and they tell you how they are going to do it then you need immediate professional assistance. Call one of these numbers immediately.
- 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) ·
- 1-888-SUICIDE (1-888-784-2433) ·
- 1-877-SUICIDA (1-877-784-2432) (Spanish).
If you suspect your loved one to be contemplating suicide and simply need for more information about national suicide prevention help in general, visit the SAMHSA Web site at: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
I hope this has helped in some way. Rock bottom is different for different people and no one can predict just where that will be, when “enough is enough”. I will say that you are not helping if you give into them all the time. You are only prolonging their disease. Sorry addicts but you know I’m right.
One Response to “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH (Hitting Rock Bottom)”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Not A Member? Register for Free!
I’m sorry to say, my cousin has been to most of those places. He has spent all but 2 birthdays in the last 9 years in prison. It seems to be the only place he can stay clean. I have been pushing for his family to let him go to jail for over a decade, but they would bail him out until there was no money left.
He has been in the hospital. In fact he OD’d about a week after he got out of a year long jail sentence this past summer. That didn’t do it.
He nearly killed his father while driving him last year. Seeing his dad near death 3 times after that accident did not do it.
You said when they can’t stand their pain anymore they will stop. The thing about this kid (I call him a kid because he acts like a 14 year old, which is when he started using - he’s 27) is that I’ve always known he’d be the one to hurt himself, whereas the brother would act against someone else.
I have a feeling that either he will always be an addict ending up in jail or OD’ing or he will intentionally OD.
It’s heartbreaking. Not so much him, but seeing the pain in his father’s and our grandmother’s faces.
This country needs to reform their treatment of addicts and actually enact a war on drugs.
~Kelly
http://www.30somethingandsearching.today.com/